A journey of companionship
By Alma, social worker of International Adoption Servce / Translator : Lian
This is my 11th year working in Cathwel. I never would have believed I could persist for so long at any one thing, nor would I have expected to develop such a deep bond with Cathwel and its mission. So what has propelled me in this journey?
Strong backing
Besides my passion for finding loving homes and families for children, Cathwel's emphasis on placing special needs and disadvantaged children also inspires me. I have encountered many challenges, both big and small, during my time at Cathwel. I suffer when the children I serve suffer, and I trouble when the children I have placed face troubled relationships with their adoptive families. I am grateful for the committed and supportive colleagues at Cathwel. Through teamwork and discussions, we have always found solutions to the challenges. I have learned to encourage and console myself, "Do not be afraid! You are not alone. There will be a path."
The power of companionship - Relinquishing Parents
My experience accompanying parents who renounce their children for adoption has not always been smooth. These parents hold different and often complex emotions while giving their children up for adoption, and their atti- tude towards social workers ranges widely from defensive, angry, alienated, and dependent to reluctant. Only through constant companionship and understanding would the biological parentsgradually open their hearts and be willing to share their stories and their pains.
These parents are initially defensive, one mother shared with me, because of their hope for acceptance by the social workers and everyone else, without labels and judgments. They wish for people to realize that adoption is not their first choice and that they would work hard to raise their children if they could do so. This mother has given several children up for adoption, and I have witnessed her transformation over the years. Every case has been difficult. But with her most recent case, faced with the decision, her mindset changed from disagreement to blessing the child. She told me that if this was the child's wish or destiny, she would let go and send her sincere blessing. Moreover, it has shed new perspectives on her prior experiences giving up a child for adoption, and it has provided her the courage to face her other children.
Reflecting on this mother's story, I see my struggle for the same bravery. Life is not easy, and adoption is an arduous road. But she has found strength and a new direction through her struggle. In the process, she has renewed her relationships with her children. More than ever, I understand companionship and growth are a common journey in life.
The power of companionship - Adoptee
An adoption presents significant and daunting changes in the adoptee's life. In addition to preparing these children for adoption, social workers also help them to gain a more concrete understanding of the new life they are about to face. Companionship plays a vital role. Sometimes, children may be unable to express their worries and anxieties. How- ever, through constant communication with social workers and the people around them, they can understand that there is someone who is patient and willing to accompany them in the journey so they can transition to their new life with strength and confidence.
I have been particularly touched by the experiences of assisting families adopting siblings, from accompanying the children in video chats as they gradually become acquainted with the adoptive family to helping those siblings who did not live together to get to know one another. When the siblings finally started living together in the adoptive family, receiving follow-up photos of the children from their new home was truly touching. For these children, being adopted abroad is already a significant change, and being able to grow up with siblings who share the same bloodline and origin is especially comforting and gratifying.
Reunions with the children I have served many years after their adoption are also deeply moving, as many memories of the children remain vivid in my mind. For children who have been traumatized or experienced disruptive changes, bonding with their adoptive parents is a gradual process. Trust requires patience, unconditional love and a perseverance to understand the causes of the children's behavior. The constant companionship of the adoptive parents also instills in the children the belief that they are loved and will not be relocated again. The feeling of stability and safety is the seed for a relationship with their parents.
Courage is moving forward with fear
"Courage is moving forward with fear" is a phrase from my favorite picture book "Brave Little Train." Whether it is the social workers or the caseworkers, they will each face many unknowns and challenges. With courage, we do not need to seek to be brave without fear. Instead, you can be brave and afraid, and you can simultaneously hold many other feelings. This is the encouragement I give these days to myself and my clients.
Be dedicated but don’t forget to take care of yourself
To stay on a job or sustain something you love requires more than devoting yourself wholeheartedly. Especially in the adoption process, you will always experience various ups and downs, challenges, and emotions. "Self-care and constant adjustment" is the key, which is why I continue to work in Cathwel!"