This I believe
Forword by Grace Yang, social worker
I can still remember the silent and helpless birth mother, the little girl Karina rolling her bright eyes, and the adoptive couple looking forward to nourishing a new life all sitting in the meeting room years ago. In a blink of an eye, Karina is a fully-grown big girl. The birth family gives her life and blessing of love for adoption while her adoptive parents enrich her life. She was irrigated and nourished in love so that she became dexterous and confident. Experiencing ups and downs in the process of life exercise, the adults become stronger and enjoy the different scenery in their life.
“Life cannot be repeated, only to move forward cou- rageously.” “We can mutually appreciate each other even though we are so different.” Their sentences conjured up the memories and images of the time we had spent together as I read them over and over again. They have enlightened me and I realize how deep their “love” and “faith” are to make them demonstrate such insight. How lucky I am to get to know them. Now their stories are no more limited between theirs and ours but to invite everybody to witness their strong inner strength through this publication.
By Karina Peak
I’ve met my tummy-mummy four times in my life. Compared to many adopted kids, that is a lot. The last time I met her was last March break. I asked her a lot about her life, but mostly I asked about what she thought my life would be like if she hadn’t given me away. Similar to the show Gilmore Girls, we both thought we would be a close mother- daughter pair, only being 17 years apart. I would be living in Taiwan in a small house with her and her mother, and maybe a few more people throughout the times. Like any family we would laugh and cry, go through tough times and happy times. But she wanted to go to medical school. Her family was not very wealthy. As a single mother of four, my biological grandmother slaved to give an opportunity for her children. There was no way they could take on another mouth to feed, another thousands of dia- pers, another child to take care of. So they put me up for adoption.
Before we met up last spring, I asked my parents if they were worried. Looking back, I don't really know what I meant but I think it was if my biological mother and I make an amazing bond and I drift towards her or some- thing. It makes no sense right now, but back then I was legitimately asking about their comfort in this situation. They confidently told me that they had no worries. They knew and I knew that my family is Maya Arai, David Peak, my cat Kai, and myself. No one can tell me otherwise. Recently, I had a conversation with a friend who didn’t know I was adopted. I had to reiterate a couple of times that my family is the people who provides me with food on the table, a warm house to go home to, an amazing education, and loving arms to bury myself into whenever I need to. My mom, my お母さん, is the person who has taught me Japanese, yelled at me for not practicing my violin, and was and is always willing to jump when I jump. My dad is the person who continually makes me laugh, works insanely hard with his crazy schedules, and is willing to put everyone and everything before himself. Yes, my biological family is also family, and their eagerness for meet ups proves that even more. But there will never be a time when I do not tack on “biological” in front of their names. My “biological” mother, who is now a proud nurse and mother of my two half-siblings, my “biological” grand- mother who is still strong and healthy, and my “biological” step father who never fails to give me amazing gifts despite a lack of biological connection.
If you look at my family, it’s obvious that I’m adopted. My mom is asian but my dad is white. We are often perceived as different groups in the public’s eye. When visiting my biological mother, I have been told that we look alike, and my biological father probably looks like me too. We would have no trouble walking out in the public, no trouble being thought as a family. But family might not be who you look like. My family are the people who I say good morning to when I wake up, and the people I hug and say goodnight before I go to sleep. So don’t feel bad for me because I am adopted. I have an awesome life with my family.
By Karina's adoptive mother
Karina showed me her essay after she submitted it to her English class, and I was surprised because she, being a high school teenager, usually does not share her projects in school with us. My husband and I have been communicating about our situation of adoption and relationship with her biological family all along since she was very little very openly, but lately she hadn’t been sharing her thoughts and feelings as much. I was so touched and happy to hear how she feels now, and about our relationship.
We often joke that it is good that we are not biologically related, because some of the traits I received from my own parents may not be something she wants to inherit. We also says it is to our advantage that we are so different. We complement each other. More than any other years or months, Karina and I now spend 24/7 together due to social distancing and isolation enforced by the government due to Corona pandemic. In most part, we get along very well, and we laugh a lot, play together when she is free from her online studies. Her dad who is an emergency physician at big hospital ER, is extremely busy now and she can spend very little time with him now, but as she states in her essay, she has very close relationship with him and we agree that Karina is much more like her dad, Dave, although she physically looks very different from him.
This amazing relationship Karina noted in her essay would not have existed without Cathwel’s social worker, Grace Yang. We are extremely thankful to her communication and how much she did for us. We also cannot thank enough for the willingness of Karina’s birthmother and her family to meet with us each time we requested (when we visit Karina’s grandparents who live in Taiwan). It is such a pleasure to write this letter, it warms my heart, especially during this health crisis.
Maya
By Karina’s birth mother
Karina is so sensible, content, understanding and tolerant. I really cannot believe that I have such a wonderful daughter after reading her essay. Karina did not complain about me. I used to be afraid that she might refuse to meet me, might have her own ideas when she grows up, or might be busy and not to be contacted because of her own life circle. Hence, I always think every “meeting” as my last meeting with her. I am so afraid that when Karina grows up, she will not want to see me, will have her own thoughts, and will start to live her own life.
Actually, there are lots of things that I dare not to imagine. If Karina is staying with me, I will never be a nurse and live the life I have now. I won’t even know where I would be and live on what kind of life. Yet, I do know that Karina will never have such a good living and learning environ- ments as she has now.
I want to thank the adoptive parents of Karina for all these. They rest assured and not worried to let me know everything about Karina! I have no more regret or pain in my heart, and I am sincerely grateful for my initial choice. I would also like to thank Cathwel Service and Miss Yang for their assistance so that both Karina and I (extending to two families) can embrace each happy and special life!